Fertamia ‘09

Kiawani Smith

                                                   

                    My Aunts name was Fertamia, but many knew her as Tammy, Born January 29, 1974.

The funny, loud, energetic, crazy, outgoing, loving woman from 9th and Filmore. Everybody loved my aunt, there's was not a day go by that she didn't make someone's day, she was so filled with joy and happiness. She was an amazing provider for her 4 children; Briana, Jamaal, Joshua, and Charles  Jacob. I loved her because she was a role model, she taught me how to be a woman, how to take care of myself, how to love, how to never give up. She was truly the best auntie,sister,daughter,mother,and cousin anybody could ever ask for. Even though my aunt was in an abusive relationship, she still lived life as though she wasn't hurting. It always would bring joy to us seeing my auntie walk in the house cracking jokes then that all changed the day came when she didn't come back home to us.

I still relive those days when she first went missing and the night when they confirmed she was gone. I would've never thought she would be taken just like that, it all felt so unreal. I remember that day when we went to her house for like a family gathering, her sons came up to me and was like “Our mom missing that's why everybody here” but i didn't quite understand because all the kids were playing as if nothing were wrong. Later on that night, my auntie daughter, briana, got a text message from her mom's phone but it wasn't my aunt, it was their dad pretending to be her, but we didn't find that out until after the fact that he had already killed her.

I could've sworn it was a dream waking up out of my sleep hearing my mom crying because she lost her sister, i ran back to my aunts room to tell my cousin, Zion, that our aunt auntie was gone, the saddest night of my life. My family decided that they weren't going to remain depressed so the came up with the idea of celebrating her passing, we held a party after the funeral and played all the music she loved. I learned that you can't even trust the ones you love because they will still turn around to harm you no matter how much yall love/loved each other. As of today, it's been 7 years since me and my family lived without my aunt, it took alot for us to finally take all this in and accept the fact that we had to move on with our lives without her. My family still go through it from time to time. Not having my aunt here really damaged my family, it's so many emotions that over takes me sometimes, but I give it all to God to remain humble and peaceful.